Aniekeme Finbarr

This is a follow up to the earlier topic, WHY DO WOMEN WORRY SO MUCH? Read it up.

I said that women are largely emotional, they don’t easily switch on and off like men. Issues are arranged in a man’s mind like books on a shelf, he can pull out one issue neatly for discussion while his mind is engaged with other issues, no interference.

While a woman’s mind is like a pile of books, you don’t get to the bottom issue without removing the issues on top.

See, most men are capable of jumping from one issue to the other without filling up the links, they can be talking about Chelsea and next they are shouting “PDP” whereas women desire continuity to fully express what’s on their mind.

That is why most wives complain against their husbands “He doesn’t have my time”, “He doesn’t listen to me”, “He shouts me down, when I have not finished what to say” and so on.

Only few men sit down to listen to her narrate all that happened at the salon, how Expression is now more costly than Lolita, how skull cap has been replaced by Brazilian hair and how she bought the wig but forgot the closure at Ekaette’s place after she left Akpan Andem market before stopping by the make-over shop to make enquiries about the foundation and concealer. She will tell you how Esther didn’t greet her well today because Esther is jealous because she now drives a car. Very irrelevant details, absolute crap, lol but good men try to listen, and most times sleep off after a hard day’s job. That’s how another quarrel starts in the morning.

Men actually love but you see a man’s love is not like a woman’s love. Women want men who are humble and smart, fun and romantic, sensitive and gentle, and, above all, supportive.They want a man that will look in their eyes and tell them they are beautiful. They want a man who will cry when he’s hurting, who is willing to change diapers and wash dishes and do it all without me having to ask. Well, men are not like that.

A man who is in love with you is probably not going to call you every two hours except he is a very lazy guy, he’s not going to sit around stroking your hair while you sip hot tea. That is why less busy men take advantage of women by giving them time and attention and since it is the kind of thing women desire, they fall for it. That’s how cheating starts.

A man’s love is still love, though.

It’s just different from the love that women give and, in a lot of cases, expect and want.

When a man loves you, he is proud of you, wants everybody to know. That’s our idea of love. When a man loves you, he provides for you. So, when you tell a man, “Is it about the money alone? You have killed his love because providing is how he expresses his love. Few can go romantic, but I said few, very few at that. Once a man has cash and he isn’t giving it to you, forget it. He doesn’t love you. Men love by showing you off as their trophy, they love by spending and they love by protecting and defending you. Even if you are a side chick, they still wanna let some of their friends know they are dating you.

If he adds small romance, my sister, you are lucky and if he doesn’t do the ones I mentioned before, you are on a long thing.

To be continued…


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